The Gangsters on the Bus

Here's a snapshot of my day.

I get up at 5:30 in the morning, rouse a very sleepy, very cranky toddler and strap her into her car seat, drive her 30 minutes to day care, then drive another 30 50 minutes to work. I then teach the most boring subject allllll day (7:35-3:15), pick up aforementioned toddler up from day care (at which she has not napped ONCE), drive into our area, run about a million errands, and then FINALLY go home. I get home, on average, around 5/5:30. I'll do the math for you, that's 12 hours. From start to finish. 

So now, I need to change the baby, feed and walk the dogs, feed the cats, get the pellet stove going, and get dinner made. All before the hubs fiancée' gets home at 6:30. Yeeesh. So, imagine you're in your kitchen, cutting up raw chicken with a huge cutting knife while you have at least 2 burners on the stove going. You do not have any free hands and your beautiful, 15-month old daughter begins to cry. I wash my salmonella chicken-covered hands. Here's a cookie, Chloe. Back to cutting. Okay, that's bought me all of 8 seconds. Now she's really complaining in earnest because her mother is ignoring her, neglecting her, setting her on fire, sticking needles in her eyeballs...and other horrors she must imagine happen when I don't pay 110% of my attention to her. So I do the only thing that keeps her from going into full psycho fit mode: I sing "The Wheels on the Bus".

 Now, for whatever reason, this song is the methadone to her tantrum and she stops immediately to listen to me. So, I'm singing every verse I can possibly think of. I've already gone through the wheels going round, the horn beeping, the lights going on and off, the doors open and shut, the mamas, the dadas, the babies wah, wah, waah-ing and now...shit. I'm drawing a blank. Chloe senses my hesitation and begins to start the pouting mouth that is the precursor to her crying and I'm starting to panic. So, what the hell, I start to make up my own verses:

"The teenagers on the bus go O.M.G, O.M.G, O.M.G! The teenagers on the bus go O.M.G...Allllll through the towwwnnnn...." and "The seniors on the bus go 'What'd you say???'"

And it is when I am doing what must be a song-writing work of genius that I turn and see Steve standing in the doorway. What was I singing, you ask? Well....

"The gangsters on the bus go, 'Yo, what up?' 'Yo, what up?' 'Yo, what up?' The gangsters on the bus go, 'Yo, what up?' Alllll through the towwwnnnn...."complete with my my own version of what I'm sure are legitimate gang signs. Genius, right? Well, I see Steve standing there like he's seriously contemplating just turning around and going right back to work, but doesn't since he probably thinks I'm a bad influence on our very impressionable young daughter and he should stick around and supervise before I start showing her how to roll a joint curse. 

So, don't be surprised if you see Chloe flashing the well known gang sign for The Lion Kings. (That, by the way, is an inside joke I will have to save for another blog)

Peace Out, Yo.