You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?

One of Steve's favorite sayings lately is, "You know what really grinds my gears?" It's funny because A) He's a mechanic and B) It's from our favorite show, Family Guy:

So, I decided to do my own episode of "Grinds My Gears". Here are just some things that bug the hell out of me. Enjoy!

1. Whistling. 
Uggggghhhhhhh....hearing someone whistle is like the equivalent to nails on a chalkboard. I seriously cannot stand it. Especially when I am trying to sleep in on a Saturday (and by "sleep in", I mean sleep past 6 am) and Steve is whistling in the shower like he's trying to break the freaking sound barrier or summon the nearest dolphin. I really can't even take it.  

2. People who don't know how to use homophones correctly.
No, I don't mean gay telephones. I mean words that sound the same, but have different spellings and meanings. As in: there, their and they're. And your and you're.  Even my first graders know how to correctly use these words in a sentence and I literally cannot browse Pinterest, as I do every single day once in a while, without coming across an incorrectly spelled meme. I understand, the people spreading these awful pictures and quotes are from a generation who grew up with spell check and so, they never had to learn how to actually spell... but remember: its spell check, not grammar check.  So, for those of you who didn't go to elementary school, here's a little lesson for you:

Your - possessive, meaning you own it
You're - contraction, meaning "you are"
There - indicating a place
Their - possessive, meaning you own it
They're - contraction, meaning "they are"

So, seriously, use your dictionary, it is over there. If you can't find your dictionary, you're better off asking your parents. Their dictionary is also over there. They're not going to mind if you use their dictionary to check your memes before you spread them to 12.5 million people who will "like" your grammatically incorrect picture of Grumpy Cat.

3. Speaking of Grumpy Cat, seriously??? 
This girl is now a freaking millionaire because of her cat! Her cat! The last thing my cat  did for me was leave a beheaded mouse corpse on my daughter's high chair. Yeah. That happened.

4. That I live in 2013, the year Marty McFly visited and considered the future, and yet the following things are true:
- Gay marriage is not legal in every state
- Mississippi just had their first integrated prom (seriously, google this, this actually happened. Up until THIS YEAR they still had a white prom and a black prom)
- That I am a woman, who works a full time, 40 hour a week job and is raising a toddler and yet, my fiancee' thinks my house should be spotless, all the laundry should be done and folded and put away, all the dishes should be done, and dinner should be on the table every night. And these are MY responsibilities because I'm the WOMAN. The woman. Really? I'm sorry, I had no idea women were still expected to do housework and be housewives even thought they hold full time jobs elsewhere. Excuse me while I go get my frilly lace apron to wear with my stilettos while I vacuum and  greet my hard-working man-husband with a martini every evening when he gets home.
- That I am not driving a hover car

5. Taylor Swift.
 Okay, hear me out on this one. I really really used to like Taylor Swift. I had her album, "Speak Now" and I loved almost all the songs on it. I learned how to play "Should've Said No", "You Belong With Me", and "Our Song" on guitar. I would turn "Enchanted" up really loud and sing it out like I was on American Idol. And I thought young girls finally had a good role model. So imagine my disappointment when "We Are Never (Ever Ever) Getting Back Together" came out. Really, Taylor? Your friends talk to my friends talk to my friends talk to me? That's what you came up with? This from a girl who wrote "I walk with my head down trying to block you out because I'll never impress you" and "I'm shining like fireworks over your dark empty town"????? What happened to you? Did you stay up too late partying with Taylor Lautner Harry Styles John Mayer Selena Gomez???? But alas, I was ready to forgive Taylor. I was ready to be a fan again. But then, oh god, on the radio comes this song. At first I thought, "Oh, a new Kesha song," but then I shook my head, "Noooo...must be Pink?" And then the chorus...."Twenty two oo oo...." Oh god, Taylor, whyyyyyyyyy???? I liked you soooo much! But you sold out. Like you even need the money. Didn't you just buy a mansion for 8 million dollars cash or something? C'mon!

I could go on and on about things that drive me absolutely bat shit cray (like people who say "cray" instead of "crazy") but I just realized how long this blog is turning out already and I'm only on item number 5...

Okay, okay, ONE more:

6. My skin
When I was a teenager, I had beautiful skin. I never EVER broke out and I never had to wear make up. I would maybe get one teensy little pimple a month and that was because it was that time of the month. This is me at 17:

I'm not wearing ANY makeup in this picture. Look at how nice my skin is. So, can someone please tell me why WHY do I have to deal with pimples now??? I am a grown, 28-year old woman for pete's sake! Why do I have to have acne now?? You're supposed to have acne as a teenager, all awkward and pimply, it's expected! But I didn't, and now I have to have pimples? They're all concentrated in one area, right on either side of my chin. And as soon as I think I have control over the suckers, as soon as I start to clear up, the same pimples just come right back! No matter what I do. If I pop them, they become angry and get worse. If I leave them alone, they turn into these hard, permanent marbles on my face that recede and leave a red or purple acne mark. WTF! Seriously, anyone out there with ANY advice, please help me! Why is this happening to me????

Okay, I think I'm done now. Stay tuned for another episode of "You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?"